In the midst of exam hell

I try to tell myself I'm still alive and a real person despite the fact I have been doing nothing for months except attempting to turn myself into someone I'm not - ie a confident future doctor. I wake early early in the mornings, with my head full of dreams full of patients that I have seen over the past few years, ones that are probably still alive, ones that are dead. In all the dreams I am disappointing people. And they are more real to me than the exams are.

"You take a really sleepy man, Esme, and he always stands a chance of again becoming a man with all his fac-with all his f-a-c-u-1-t-i-e-s intact."

-JD Salinger